Until the depression comes, which it always does

President Trump's meditations on an emergency

During the repression of last year’s campus protests, this newsletter brought you an exclusive piece by Barack Obama on the difficulties of resisting the war machine on campuses like Columbia’s. Today, we are have the privilege of sharing an original poem by Donald Trump, reproduced (and lightly edited) without permission from Playboy, March 1990.¹

To get away from it all, we began our first session hovering above the East River in the cobalt Darth Vader helicopter. Donald Trump was strapped into taupe leather, good-naturedly hyping his empire below. Such ostentation has predictably yielded a rich crop of snipers.

TRUMP: “Vision is my best asset.
I know what sells and I know what people want.”

PLAYBOY: Wait. If you believe that
the public shares these views, why not consider
running for President?

TRUMP: I’d do the job as well as or better than anyone else.

PLAYBOY: What would be some of President Trump’s longer-term
views of the future?

TRUMP: I think about the future, but I refuse
to paint it. Anything can happen. But
I often think of nuclear war.

It’s a little like sickness.
People don’t believe they’re going to get sick
until they do. Nobody
wants to talk about it.

I believe the greatest of all stupidities is people’s believing
“It will never happen, because
everybody knows how destructive it will be, so nobody
uses weapons.” What bullshit.

I would never hire anybody who thinks that.

It’s like thinking the Titanic can’t sink.
Too many countries have nuclear weapons;
nobody knows where they’re all pointed,
what button it takes to launch them.

We have thousands of weapons pointed at us
and nobody even knows if they’re going to go
in the right direction.
They’ve never really been tested.

The bomb
Harry Truman dropped on Hiroshima
was a toy next to today’s.

These jerks in charge don’t know
how to paint a wall,
and we’re relying on them
to shoot nuclear missiles
to Moscow.

What happens if they don’t go there?

What happens
if our computer systems aren’t working?
Nobody knows
if this equipment works,
and I’ve seen numerous reports
lately stating that the probability is
they don’t work.
It’s a total mess.

President Trump would believe very strongly
in extreme military strength.

He wouldn’t trust anyone.
He wouldn’t trust the Russians;
he wouldn’t trust our allies;

Part of the problem is that we’re defending some of the wealthiest
countries in the world for nothing ....
We’re being laughed at around the world,
defending Japan —

they rule
the greatest money
machine ever assembled
and it’s sitting on our backs.
Their products are better
because they have so much subsidy.

We Americans are laughed at around the world for losing
a hundred and fifty billion dollars, year after year,
for defending wealthy nations
for nothing, nations that would be wiped off the face of the earth
in about fifteen minutes
if it weren’t for us.
Our “allies” are making billions screwing us.

President Trump would have a huge
—You’re either born with it or you’re not.
The day Jack Nicklaus came into this world,
he had more—
A huge military arsenal, perfect it,
understand it. With the right financing,
you’ve essentially invested no money.

After the October 1987 crash, I didn’t gloat.
Somebody reported that I was
out of the market
and I confirmed it. I don’t know if
that’s talent or luck or instinct.
I then went back into the market after the crash.
I think the cash
market is the great one right now.

Cash is king, and that’s
one of the beauties of the casino business.
The stock market is a crap shoot.
Real estate is something solid.
It’s brick, mortar.

There’s something about Mother Earth
that’s awfully good,
and Mother Earth is still real estate.

PLAYBOY: You’re opposed to Japanese buying real estate in the U.S.?

TRUMP: I have great respect for the Japanese people
and list many of them as great friends. I give great credit
to the Japanese and their leaders.
Many European and Japanese investors literally
give their subordinates
instructions to buy apartments only
in Trump buildings.

But the Japanese can buy our buildings,
our Wall Street firms,
and there’s virtually nothing to stop them.
In fact, bidding on a building in New York is an act of futility.
They want to own Manhattan.

The Japanese double-screw the U.S. — a real trick.
Their openly screwing us is a disgrace.
First they take all our money with their consumer goods,
then they put it back in buying all of
Manhattan. So either way, we lose.

Japan gets almost seventy percent of its oil from the Persian Gulf,
relies on ships led back home by our destroyers, battleships,
helicopters, frog men.

PLAYBOY: Why in the world do you need a bigger yacht?

TRUMP: I don’t. I could be happy living in a studio apartment.
Khashoggi was a great deal maker but a bad businessman
I paid twenty-nine million dollars for the Khashoggi yacht;
two years later, I’ll be selling it for more
than one hundred million dollars
and getting a bigger one.

But the Khashoggi boat is worth more only if I sell it.
This new one will—believe it or not—be
even more spectacular
and bring tremendous acclaim to
Trump properties in Atlantic City.

Absolutely. Nothing wrong with ego.
People need ego, whole nations need ego.
I think our country needs more ego,
because it is being ripped off so badly by our so-called
allies; i.e., Japan,
West Germany, Saudi Arabia,
South Korea, etc.

They have literally outegotized this country.

The Japanese sail home, where they give the oil to fuel
their factories
so that they can knock the hell out of
General Motors, Chrysler and Ford.
The Japanese cajole us, they bow to us, they tell us how great we are
and then they pick our pockets

The Japanese have their great scientists
making cars and VCRs
and we have our great scientists making missiles
so we can defend Japan.

Why aren’t we being reimbursed for our costs?
Why aren’t they paying us?

PLAYBOY: Another game:
What’s the first thing President Trump would do upon
entering the Oval Office?

TRUMP: Many things.
A toughness of attitude would prevail.
I’d throw a tax on every Mercedes-Benz
rolling into this country and on all Japanese products,
and we’d have wonderful allies again.

I enjoy testing friendship…
Everything in life
to me is a psychological game,
a series of challenges
you either meet or don’t.
I am always testing
people who work for me.

I’ve always thought about the issue of
nuclear war;
it’s a very important element
in my thought process. It’s
the ultimate, the ultimate catastrophe,
the biggest problem this world has,
and nobody’s focusing on the nuts
and bolts of it.

PLAYBOY: Sometimes you sound like a Presidential candidate
stirring up the voters.

TRUMP: I don’t want the Presidency
If I ever ran for office, I’d do better
as a Democrat than as a Republican—
and that’s not because I’d be more liberal,
because I’m conservative. But the working guy would elect me.
He likes me. When I walk down the street,
those cabbies start yelling.

And let me tell you:
a display is a good thing. It shows
people that you can be successful.
It can show you a way of life.

You know,
it is all a rather sad situation.

PLAYBOY: Life? Or death?

TRUMP: Both. We’re here and we live
our sixty, seventy or eighty years
and we’re gone. You win, you win,
and in the end,
it doesn’t mean a hell of a lot.

Some of my friend are unbelievably successful
and miserable people. I truly believe that
someone successful is never really happy.

I often think of nuclear war.
Nobody has ever asked me that.
Tough is being mentally capable of winning
battles against an opponent
and doing it with a smile.

Tough is winning systematically.
Depends on your definition of winning
But it is something to do—
to keep you interested.

I want this job to be dramatic.
I strive for that. I don’t want it to be
contextual, blending
into everything else.
It shouldn’t be like getting a haircut
and telling the barber
I don’t want anyone to know I’ve gotten one.

There has always been a display of wealth
and always will be,
until the depression comes,
which it always does.

If I had tried to get the
zoning for Trump City in 1975,
I would have gotten everything I wanted,
because
the city was absolutely at a low point.

I may now wait
for construction to stop,
for interest rates to go up—
then the city
will desperately need
Trump City.

[Such ostentation has predictably yielded a rich crop of snipers.]

Rich people are great survivors.
I don’t know if
that’s talent or luck or instinct.
I don’t worry and I protect
myself as well anybody can.
But ultimately we all end up going
to hopefully greener pastures.

It’s a little like sickness.
People don’t believe they’re going to get sick
until they do.

1. You can find the whole issue here. If you’d rather not explain to your boss or partner that you’re “reading Playboy for the articles,” you can find just the interview here (safe for work, except for a half-page condom ad).